Do you ever feel like maybe you’re just not meant for a partnership—or you’re simply exhausted from trying?
I’ve been single since November 2023, and while I have a male friend who is kind and genuinely a good gentleman, I can tell he likes me more than I can return. The truth is, my desire to be with anyone romantically feels… gone. Not because something is wrong with me—but because I am deeply terrified of forming another deep connection.
My last two relationships were toxic in different ways. One of my exes was extremely insecure. He constantly believed I was talking to everyone. Looking back, I take accountability where it’s due—I was transparent about being an exotic dancer at the time. What I’ve learned since is that level of honesty about certain lines of work isn’t something everyone can emotionally handle. Once the constant “you’ve been with someone else” conversations began, I should have walked away. No matter what I did, nothing was ever enough. Even after I quit that line of work, the same doubts and accusations followed me.
My relationship with my children’s father ended differently but was just as damaging. After becoming a stay-at-home mother, the dynamic shifted. What once felt like partnership slowly turned into resentment. Control crept in. Financial abuse followed. I lost parts of myself trying to keep the peace.
What I’ve learned through all of this is something powerful: **love is not meant to be self-sacrifice at the expense of your mental health.** Not anymore.
Now, I’m focused on rebuilding what I lost—my peace, my confidence, my sense of self. I prioritize my mental health above everything else. And while I won’t say I’ve completely closed the door on love, I no longer feel the need to force a relationship just to say I’m not alone.
Right now, choosing myself feels like the healthiest relationship I can be in.
**Question for you:**
Have you ever reached a point where choosing your healing felt more important than choosing a relationship—and how did that decision change you?
